First semester is finally over. I can say I am highly disappointed in my lack of effort in pulling my grades together. First semester was hectic considering everything that happened, but I can only blame myself. I chose how to handle certain situations and let it affect my school work. I don’t want to say I regret it but I look back and wish I handled it better. You leaving my life is something I can’t fix, it is what it is and I spent to much time helplessly thinking. Months years from now you’re not going to matter, what matter is  my school work  that heavily impacts and effects my future and what colleges decide to accept me, and that outweighs everything entirely. Giving up on assignments class work etc didn’t seem like a big deal but when it comes down to it.. I find myself stressing out. I’m not going to let something like this affect my school work any longer. My education is going to take me far in life, not you or us. I’m done feeling sorry for our situation. I have to get back on that school grind and pull it together if I’m planning to go somewhere in life after these 5 months. Second semester will be better. I can not risk or afford to lose my conditional and provisional acceptance to these colleges. Got to get it together.